fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
