I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
