Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
