you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
