If i come over, it means nothing
Don't make out with my wife yet
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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