Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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