morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
