One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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