Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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