Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
