just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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