sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
