How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
