I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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