Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
