I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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