I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
