Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
