He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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