if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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