Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
