I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
