Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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