I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
