My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
