The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
