So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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