Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
