take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
