The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
