No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
