i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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