I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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