Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I love you. Go after that dick
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
