we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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