dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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