The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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