If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
