But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
