I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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