ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
