ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
