Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
