So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
