So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i will never coherently bang her
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
