...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think a kid would responsible me up
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
