he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
