I saw his package. It spoke to me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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