I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
