My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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