Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
