1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
