I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
