Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
