I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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