She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
