guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
