oh god the rape fog is back!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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