Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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